Are male multiple orgasms just a myth?

In the ongoing race between the sexes, we often assume that women get the short end of the stick, given how much more difficult - or at least, less well-served by penetrative sex - the female orgasm is to achieve. 

And yet, many women, with practice, able to achieve something most men only dream of: the multiple orgasm.

But, just because it isn’t widely experienced, does that mean that male multiple orgasms don’t exist? The answer may surprise you.

While not solely focused on sex, these philosophies have developed practices related to the extension of coitus and hence male erection by studying methods to achieve multi-orgasm.

Taoism and ejaculation control

According to the Tao, sperm is a vital energy depositor and for this reason should be kept as much in the body as possible. This belief has led the Taoists to develop a series of techniques to prevent ejaculation: from the simple coitus interruptus to exerting pressure to the perineum or even conscious contraction of the muscles of the perineum itself.

Tantra and the ‘Valley Orgasm’

Tantric disciplines proposes a different approach to sex than we’re used to: according to Tantric theory, in fact, orgasm simply IS NOT the purpose of sexual intercourse. 

Tantric sex is based on a protracted contact between the two partners, which does not necessarily imply sexual intercourse as we usually mean it.

 

Tantra promotes four ways to achieve this kind of sensation: attention, sound, breath, and movement. And if three of these are generally shared by western approaches to sex (attention to the partner, use of voice, movements in harmony with the other), when it comes to breathing, there is a diametrically opposite approach.

In the west we associate excitement, sexual desire, and orgasm with short and rushed breaths. The more excited we are, the shorter and shallower our breaths become. Tantra, on the other hand, promotes a deep breathing technique that really makes sense if you think about, since every time we breathe we oxygenate muscles and brain.

Orgasm and ejaculation

Returning to the distinction between men and women, the thing that distinguishes female orgasm from the male is that female orgasm does not (usually) involve ejaculation.

And yet therein lies the rub: most of us tend to consider orgasm and ejaculation as two faces of the same coin, but in fact it is not. There can be orgasm without ejaculation and ejaculation without orgasm. Ejaculation is not the cause of orgasm, but it is a reflection that follows after a few seconds.

The refractory period

While it can vary from lasting just a few moments or a few hours, the refractory period refers to the period after ejaculation in which one is physically unable to have an erection and hence an orgasm. The existence of a refractory period in men – and not women – is how we get the idea what women can have multiple orgasms and men cannot. However…

It can be done

The key to achieving male multiple orgasms is to find that crucial moment before orgasm becomes ejaculation, and stop. The pleasurable spasms of orgasm will be tested, but the lack of ejaculation will make the penis stay erect so you can resume sex. 

This sexpert thinks she's found the answer to closing the orgasm gap

Vrangalova has said that staying open-minded about anal sex could be part of the solution to bridge that orgasm gap. Picture: Max Pixel

WATCH: This sexpert thinks she's found the answer to closing the orgasm gap

Sexpert and NYU professor of human sexuality Zhana Vrangalova thinks she may have come up with a possible solution to the orgasm gap. 

According to a 2017 study published in the Archives of Sexual Behavior, only 65% of heterosexual women experience orgasm "always" or "usually" during sex with an intimate partner.

The orgasm gap "is especially true for heterosexual and bisexual women. Lesbian women have higher rates of orgasm compared to women of other sexual orientations - although still somewhat lower rates than men of all sexual orientations,” said Vrangalova.

WATCH: 5 reasons why women climax less than men [WARNING: CONTENT OF A SENSITIVE NATURE]

According to her, research suggests that anal sex, partnered with the other acceptance-driven acts that come along with it, could pave the way for inclusive orgasms in the future.

While the latest data made for a compelling argument, Vrangalova added that more research had to be done to provide a more conclusive road map.

“There is certainly physical pleasure that comes with anal play that contributes to women’s likelihood of orgasming during those encounters, but I don’t think that this means that anal sex in and of itself is the holy grail of orgasms for women,” she told wellandgood.com. 

Instead, she argued that sexual experiences including anal likely tend to last longer, have greater variety, and are imbued with open, intimate communication.

“(Anal) is also an activity that anyone can engage in (regardless of gender or sexual orientation) because we all have butts with nerve endings that feel good when stimulated,” Vrangalova concluded.

Are you masturbating enough?

As the old joke goes, 95% of people masturbate, and 5% are lying.

How often does the average person really masturbate, though? According to a recent survey of more than 10 000 people in nine counties between the ages of 18 and 70, 95% of men and 81% of women admitted to having masturbated in their lifetime. 

Men take the lead with an average of 15 times per month while the average woman pleasures herself eight times per month. While woman are almost twice as likely to own an adult toy, 70% of sex toy owners claim that they enhance their sexual experiences.

Contrary to popular belief, you won’t go bald, blind or grow hair on your palms. In fact, many consider masturbation a form of self-care as it has been proven to be good for both your mental and physical health.

Here are just a few of the benefits of masturbation:

Overall happiness

Orgasms release Endorphins, Serotonin and Oxytocin. These are feel-good hormones that can relieve pain and make you feel happier regardless of gender or age, just like you would after a great workout.

Confidence booster

It teaches you about your body. Many sex therapists will recommend masturbation as a form of self-discovery as it’s easier to reach orgasm without the pressure of a partner. Learning about your body and being comfortable with your own sexual preferences also builds confidence and self-esteem.

It just feels good

It leads to better sex. You can’t expect your partner to satisfy you sexually if you don’t know exactly how to do it yourself. Figuring out what you like sexually is good; sharing it with your partner is even better. As they say, practice makes perfect.

Exercises your pelvic floor

It strengthens your pelvic floor. Just like Kegel Balls, the contractions you feel during orgasm will exercise your pelvic floor muscles which could help with urinary issues like incontinence and erectile dysfunction.

Better sleep

You’ll sleep better. An orgasm just before bedtime will leave you more relaxed and puts you in a natural meditative state. Those feel-good hormones released during orgasm will also help you fall asleep faster and generally lead to deeper sleep.

Brain food

It improves concentration. Think about the last orgasm you had; odds are you weren’t thinking about that work deadline. Reaching orgasm requires you to shift any stressful thoughts you might have aside and helps you to focus on the task at hand (pun intended).

Overall heart health

It’s good for your heart. Just like exercise, masturbation gets your blood pumping and increases your breathing rate, which can lead to a lower risk of weight gain and better cardiovascular health. We’re not saying skip the gym, but it won’t hurt to add it to your exercise routine.

So how often should you masturbate?

We’ve already established that most people masturbate and that they do so for different reasons. It helps you to broaden your sexual horizons, it enables you to relax, and it relieves sexual tension when your partner might not be around, but the honest truth is that most people do it because it feels really, really good. 

Whether you masturbate more than once a day, weekly, monthly or even once a decade, this is all perfectly normal and absolutely nothing to be ashamed about. In short, masturbation is natural, healthy, and it goes without saying that the safest sexual partner is yourself. After all, you know where you’ve been.

Chasing the orgasm

In a recent discussion I discovered than many of us are battling to reach orgasm. Some aren’t sure what an orgasm is, or whether they have ever had an orgasm.

Orgasm is a wonderful release and makes sex pleasurable but it’s not the only game in town! You don’t HAVE to orgasm every time you have sex. The intimacy of the act can be enough.

There are many reasons why someone may feel like they can’t orgasm. Some believe that they will never have an orgasm but I believe with a bit of work you can change this.

I also want to stress that there are a lot of great sexual acts and levels of intimacy that don’t involve orgasms but we have been conditioned to think that sex equals orgasm.

You need to answer a few questions to establish the cause:

 Have you ever had an orgasm (and yes, this includes an orgasm from masturbation)?

 Do you masturbate regularly or at all?

 Do you think you’d know an orgasm if you had one?

Many who have never had an orgasm simply need the right information to know how to have one. If you’ve already had orgasms and you can’t orgasm now, it’s probably not something as straightforward as knowing where to touch yourself and how.

The masturbation question is important because if you aren’t having orgasms, it can be so much easier to learn to orgasm through masturbation than through sex with a partner.

Once you’ve answered these questions we know where to investigate further. Having an orgasm is divided into 3 parts – Desire, arousal and tipping.

First, consider where the problems may be happening:

 Are you not feeling any desire for sex, this can lead to you not wanting or enjoying sex a bit barrier to orgasm.

 Do you want to have sex (the desire part) but find that once you start having sex you don’t get very turned on (the arousal part)?

 Do you want to have sex, get turned on, but find you can never quite make it over the top to have an orgasm (the actual orgasm or tipping part)?

There are a couple of parts to sex you have to think about – It is the body part, mind, relationship, medication, technique or upbringing that is getting in your way?

Because orgasm is an event that involves so many systems in your body (neurological, anatomical, muscular, hormonal, respiratory, the list goes on) there may be physical reasons you aren’t having orgasms.

If you can’t orgasm a good first step is to talk to your sex friendly doctor to either rule out, or discover, potential physical causes and then prescribe a course of action.

Orgasms are both a mental and physical experience. Your mental state, both how we feel and how we think, can get in the way of our ability to orgasm. In order to orgasm you need to be able to relax, focus, and concentrate enough to take in the pleasurable feelings.

Mental health issues such as depression, anxiety, PTSD can all make it difficult to orgasm. It’s not uncommon for someone to be able to orgasm during masturbation but have difficulty with a partner. If you’re consistently able to have an orgasm when masturbating but never do with a partner, there may be one of few things getting in the way.

The easiest one to fix is one of sexual technique. You may just have to change your position or increase foreplay. If you’re in a relationship that doesn’t feel safe, or where there isn’t enough trust, orgasms may not come. These are bigger problems that may need third party intervention.

Many different medications can get in the way of you having an orgasm. If you can’t orgasm and you are taking any medication, check with the doctor who prescribes the medication.

The right sexual technique won’t guarantee an orgasm, but without it the chances of having one go way down. What’s needed is the right amount of stimulation, in the right area, and of the right kind. Take your lead from what works for you during masturbation and teach your partner. You may want to include an adult toy.

What was taught to you about sex can have a profound effect on how you feel about and enjoy sex. Remember I talked about how sex changes with age? Society influences our thought processes, these include:

 Quality and amount of sex education you receive.

 Messages you received about your body.

 Values and beliefs about sexual health and sexual pleasure.

 Values and beliefs about sexuality and gender.

 Your belief around masturbation.

While we know that these teachings were outdated and harmful, they sit with us on a cellular level and require many hours of deprogramming to change. I would urge you to get help because if sex is a pleasure the intimacy levels in your relationship will increase and this makes everything better!

Vaginal orgasm 'doesn't exist', researchers argue

"There is no such thing as a vaginal orgasm," says the Mail Online, in a story that suggests some women have been diagnosed with sexual disorders based on the "myth" that they can orgasm through vaginal intercourse alone.
The news comes from a review of existing (not new) evidence, and its authors make some very bold assertions.
The researchers' main conclusion – that the vaginal orgasm does not exist – is based on their assertion that the vagina has no anatomical structure that can cause an orgasm.
In their opinion, this makes it impossible for a woman to achieve orgasm through penetrative sex alone.
However, they argue there are other effective methods for women to achieve orgasm, such as masturbation and oral sex.
If these arguments are true, it raises a couple of interesting related points. Foremost is the possibility that female sexual dysfunction, where a woman is unable to achieve an orgasm, may not be a "condition" at all if she is only experiencing the problem with penetrative sex.
Men who feel they have premature ejaculation problems because they are unable to "last" long enough to bring their partner to orgasm may in fact be unaware that their partner may not be able to orgasm through penetrative sex.
This is an interesting, if complex and unsupported, review of a subject of eternal fascination to the media – sexual arousal and orgasm in women.
Still, the main thrust of the researchers' argument – that penetrative sex is not the be all and end all of sexual activity – is a valid and reasonable one.
Where did the story come from?
The study was carried out by researchers from the Italian Centre of Sexology and the University of Florence. There is no information about any external funding.
It was published in the peer-reviewed journal Clinical Anatomy on an open-access basis, so it is free to read online.

The Mail Online went to town on the story, but its claim that, "for years women have often declared they can either orgasm through sex or foreplay" is not based on any evidence.
It also does not make it clear that this was an opinion piece summarising existing evidence and not research based on new evidence.
But, overall, the website made a fairly decent job of summarising some complex findings.
What kind of research was this?
This was a narrative review looking at the anatomical and physiological basis of female orgasm.
The authors say orgasm is a normal psychophysiological function and, in a statement of the rather obvious, women have the right to feel sexual pleasure.
For this reason, they say it is important that explanations of orgasm are based on female biology and not on hypotheses or personal opinion.
They also say some researchers have proposed a new "anatomical terminology" for the female sexual response, including an "inner clitoris" linked to the "G-spot". Their paper aims to clarify whether these new terms have a scientific basis.
A narrative review discusses and summarises the literature on a particular topic. As these reviews do not provide detailed information on the criteria for inclusion of the studies discussed, they are not considered as rigorous or reliable as systematic reviews.
With a narrative review, there is always the danger that "cherry-picking" of research may have taken place – where evidence that supports the authors' position is included, but contradictory evidence is ignored.

What does the review say?
The authors' main points were:
•The "inner clitoris" suggested by some researchers does not exist. The entire clitoris is an external organ, composed of the glans, body and root (or crura).
•There is no anatomical basis for a "clitoral-urethro-vaginal complex" (which others claim supports the idea of the "G-spot").
•The vagina has no anatomical relationship with the clitoris.
•There is no scientific basis for the existence of the G-spot, although it has become the centre of a "multimillion-dollar business" – for example, through surgical procedures that claim to help "enhance" the G-spot.
•The vaginal orgasm does not exist.
•The female erectile tissue responsible for orgasms is composed of the clitoris and its vestibular bulbs, the pars intermedia, labia minora and corpus spongiosum (of the female urethra). This, say the authors, corresponds to the penis in men and can be called the "female penis".
•"Female orgasm" is the scientific term that should be used for all orgasms in women.
How did the researchers interpret the results?
The authors say that, worldwide, the majority of women do not orgasm during intercourse: "Female sexual dysfunctions are popular because they are based on something that does not exist; the vaginal orgasm."
Yet they say female orgasm is possible in all women if the female erectile organs – as they put it, the "female penis" – are stimulated.
This can happen during a variety of sexual activity, including masturbation, cunnilingus (oral sex) and intercourse (using the hands to stimulate the "female penis" during penetrative or anal sex).
The researchers say many men think long intercourse is the key to female orgasm, but this is not necessarily helpful to women, some of whom "may be grateful to get it over with quickly".
Male ejaculation does not automatically mean the end of sex for women, they say, and they romantically conclude that touching and kissing can be continued almost indefinitely.
Conclusion
This is an interesting, if complex, review of a subject of eternal fascination for the media – sexual arousal and orgasm in women. However, despite the authors' claim to the contrary, it is hardly likely to be the last word on the topic.
Some of the points it makes are in line with scientific opinion, which holds that no distinction should be made between "types" of female orgasm.
The "vaginal orgasm" theory – first posited by Freud as the sexual response of "mature" women, achievable through intercourse and separate from the "clitoral orgasm" (for adolescents only) – was criticised by feminists as long ago as the 1970s and is considered an outmoded theory by most experts in sexual medicine.
However, the relationship between the clitoris and the sensitivity of the vagina continues to be the subject of debate.
Many women worry about achieving – or failure to achieve – orgasm. There are many reasons for orgasm problems. Your GP may be able to refer you to a specialist doctor or therapist, who can check for any physical reasons and help with any psychological barriers. Use the NHS Choices search facility to find sexual health services near you.
And, as the authors point out, if penetrative sex is not particularly stimulating, there are other techniques your partner can explore, such as mutual masturbation and oral sex. For more information on good sex tips, see Talking about sex.
Analysis by Bazian
Edited by NHS Website

Orgasm During Pregnancy: Why It’s Fine (and How It’s Different)

It can feel like pregnancy changes everything.
In some ways, it does. You’re skipping your favorite sushi place and reaching for well-done steak instead. The smallest odors seem to have you rushing to the toilet to throw up, and even sitcoms can leave you in an emotional puddle of tears. You’ve asked your OB everything under the sun, from whether you can have beef jerky to if your belly button will become an outie — and why.
But there’s one subject you’re wondering about that you’ve felt a little uncomfortable bringing up: the big O.
So is it OK to have an orgasm during pregnancy? (And if you’ve already had one, why did it felt really, really good — better than it ever has before?)
The short answer is yes, in most cases, it’s absolutely fine to have an orgasm while pregnant — in fact, it can also be a great for your emotional and mental well-being.
Let’s take a closer look at orgasm safety, sensations in the first, second, and third trimesters, and a big myth about orgasms bringing on labor — debunked.

Is it ever not safe to have an orgasm during pregnancy?
When it comes to sex during pregnancy, there’s a lot that can cause hesitation: You may not feel “in the mood,” thanks to hormones and morning sickness; your partner may worry about “poking the baby” or otherwise hurting you; and you both may have concerns about orgasms and uterine contractions.
Always check with your doctor about whether you, specifically, are OK to have sex. But if your doctor hasn’t told you otherwise, and your pregnancy is low risk, it’s generally completely safe to get it on between the sheets.
In fact, when researchers looked at studies involving 1,483 pregnant women, they found that there were no significant differences between those who had sex during their pregnancy and those who didn’t when it came to inducing labor contractions.
Researchers also noted that in low risk pregnancies, sex wasn’t associated with “preterm birth, premature rupture of membranes, or low birth weight.”
However, if you have any of the following, your doctor may indeed tell you to abstain from sexual activity:

spotting or bleeding
incompetent cervix (when the cervix is shorter than about 22 millimeters and you’re at higher risk for preterm birth)
vasa previa (when the umbilical cord vessels run too close to the cervix)
placenta previa (when the placenta covers the cervix)
Also, don’t have sex if your water has already broken. Amniotic fluid forms a protective barrier between your baby and the outside world — without it, you’re more at risk for infection.
If your pregnancy is high risk for other reasons, like multiples, talk to your OB. One review of studies found that there simply isn’t enough research about sex during high risk pregnancies.
What a pregnancy orgasm feels like, by trimester
First trimester
Sex in the first trimester may be great, or it may suffer from many “false starts”: You’re in the mood one minute, and a wave of nausea hits you the next.
On the other hand, your body is already becoming more sensitive — your breasts, for example, may be more tender to the touch and therefore more easily stimulated by your partner or yourself. Your libido may increase, too. These things, along with more natural lubrication down there, may result in quicker and more satisfying orgasms.
Or, you may just need to wait for the discomfort of first trimester symptoms to pass. And some women’s libido actually decreases. And that’s OK, too. It’s all within the realm of normal.
Second trimester
This might be the sweet spot when it comes to reaching your, ahem, sweet spot.
With morning sickness (usually) a thing of the past and the discomforts of the third trimester yet to come, sex and orgasm during the second trimester may be the most enjoyable.
Here are a few things that you may experience:
Your orgasms may be more pleasurable. There are a few reasons for this, with perhaps the main one being increased blood flow during pregnancy. This means your uterus and vaginal area are more engorged, which can mean more sensitivity. This can go either way depending on the person, but for many, it means more pleasure — and easier orgasms.
You may feel post-orgasm uterine contractions or cramps. These are perfectly normal and even happen when you’re not pregnant — you just may not feel them unless you are. Don’t worry — these contractions aren’t labor, and they’re not going to bring on labor. Cramps will generally subside with rest.
Your stomach may feel very hard. This is another common occurrence during orgasm, pregnant or not. But with your stretched skin and more extended belly, chances are, you’ll notice this sensation more.
The release of hormones may be compounded. What we mean is this: Your body is already producing more oxytocin (the “love hormone”) during pregnancy. You’ll release even more when you orgasm. And that’s typically going to feel pretty darn good.
Third trimester
Sex in general may be more difficult during the home stretch that is the third trimester. For one thing, your adorable baby bump may feel more like an enormous sack of potatoes: awkward to carry and always in the way. (That’s where creative sex positions come in!)
But also, you may have a harder time reaching the big O. With baby taking up so much room in your uterus, the muscles may not be able to fully contract as they need to in order to climax.

How to Have an Anal Orgasm: 35 Tips for You and Your Partner

What is it?
An anal orgasm is exactly what it sounds like — orgasm that’s achieved through anal stimulation.
We’re talking touching, licking, fingering, penetration, and more. If it feels good, anything goes!
Curious? Read on to learn more about this backdoor wonder and how to bring your body to orgasm.


Who can do it?
Everyone! If you have a butt and you want it touched, butt play is for you.

Is an anal orgasm the same thing as a prostate orgasm?
Sometimes. Cisgender men and people assigned male at birth have a prostate, so in these cases a butt orgasm results from stimulating the prostate.
You can stimulate the P-spot through the perineum, which is the runway of skin between the balls and the anus.
If you prefer direct touch, you’ll need to head inside through the anus — about two inches.

What about the A-spot?
This is how anal orgasms work for cisgender women and people assigned female at birth. Anal penetration indirectly stimulates the A-spot in the vagina.
The A-spot, or anterior fornix if you want to get fancy, is located deep inside the vagina — around 5 or 6 inches in.
It’s an area filled with erotically charged nerve endings that have the ability to make you very wet, very fast.

What does it feel like?
It feels like intense waves of pleasure that begin deep inside your body and radiate through the rest of your body. In other words: Ah-mazing.
Minor discomfort the first couple of times is normal as you adjust to being penetrated back there. It shouldn’t cause severe pain.

How to get started
Sex on the fly is fun, but when it comes to anal play, a little prep can help make the experience better for the receiver and the giver.
If you’re the receiving partner
Being relaxed and aroused are key, especially if this is your first foray into butt play.
Here are some ideas and other tips to get you started:
Indulge in something erotic. The more turned on you are, the easier and more enjoyable butt play will be. Watch porn, listen to an erotic story, or just close your eyes and fantasize.
Take a hot bath. A hot bath before anal play will help loosen tight muscles and increase blood flow to all your bits. Use bath time to give your erogenous zones a good rub-a-dub and show your anus some love while you wash up.
Practice with a butt plug. Sex toys can help you get a feel for anal play before experimenting with your partner. Take things slow and enjoy the feeling of the toy teasing your butt before inserting it.
Stock up on lube. There’s no such thing as too much lube when it comes to anal. It isn’t just about the delightful slip and slide, but also an important part of anal sex safety.
If you’re the giving partner
As the giver, you need to bring your A-game. A little prep can help you help them have that anal orgasm:
Groom those hands. Trim and file your nails to prevent tearing delicate skin. Short nails also mean less space for dirt and bacteria to hide. While we’re on the subject of bacteria, don’t forget to wash your hands thoroughly before going in. You could also wear latex gloves, and for extra comfort insert some cotton balls.
Use a condom. Condoms can be used on a butt toy and fingers, as well as a penis. If you want to use your tongue, a condom can also be cut open and used as an alternative to a dental dam. This isn’t just to prevent STIs, but also to nip the ick factor in the bud if you or your partner is nervous.
Get in the mood. Foreplay can help get you both ready for what’s to come and make entry into that special spot easier. Touching, kissing, and licking the buttocks and the area around the anus is a good way to get the party started.

Techniques to try
You’ll probably have to play with different techniques to find what works, but playing is half the fun anyway.
Here are some moves to try with whether you’re using your tongue, fingers, penis, toys, or a combo of them all.
With your tongue
Your tongue may not be able to directly stimulate the P-spot or A-spot, but it sure can work wonders on the rest of the perianal area and many other erogenous zones.
Use the tip of your tongue to tease the cheeks before working your way between them. Swirl your tongue around the anus for a moment and then push the tip into the opening, darting it in and out.
With your fingers
Come hither. Slowly insert your lubed finger into the anus and curl your finger upward in a “come hither” motion. Gradually increase the depth and speed — and, if desired, try inserting a second finger. Once you find a depth and pace that feels good, continue the motion and allow the pleasure to build.
Doorbell. From the inside or outside, find the spot that makes them go “oooh” with your finger and press your finger pad against it as if ringing a doorbell. Start with light pressure, gradually increasing the pressure and speed.
Circling. Rub the pad of your finger in a circular motion in the area of the A-spot or P-spot. Start circling the area slowly and gradually pick up the pace at your partner’s request — or based on their oohs and ahs. Play with pressure, as well as speed, to find the magic combo.
Simulated vibration. A little hard on the wrist, but if you speed up any move fast enough you can simulate vibration. Save this for when they’re close to the brink to avoid carpal tunnel.
With your penis, a strap-on, or other sex toy
Pressure. Applying more or less pressure can help you find the sweet spot.
Depth. No two butts are exactly alike, so play with depth to figure out how deep you need to go to hit the right spot. Take it slow and gentle —unless you get the OK to do more.
Vibrations. You can find vibrating massagers with different vibe and pulse settings. Try out the different combos to find what works best. Up the vibration when climax is near to take things over the edge.
Internal/external. Some sex toys work double duty thanks to an external vibe that stimulates the perineum or clitoris during penetration. You can also buy a dual penetrator vibrator to DP the anus and vag at the same time. Can we get a hallelujah!

How to incorporate other stimulation
An anal orgasm may be your goal, but don’t let that stop you from making use of all of the other hot spots a body has to offer!
Stimulate one or more to aim for a combo orgasm:
Clitoral. You can show the clit some love during anal play whether you’re the giver or the receiver. Use your hand, fingers, or a toy to slide up and down and side to side over the clit and hood.
Vaginal. A finger or toy can provide some DP action to penetrate the vagina while the butt’s receiving some love. Try the “come hither” move and you just might hit the elusive G-spot, too.
Penile. A good ol’ fashioned hand job is an easy add-on to anal play for the giver or receiver. Grasp the penis and stroke the entire length of the shaft, picking up the pace as climax approaches.
Erogenous zones. The body has dozens of potentially pleasurable zones craving some action. Use your hands or toy to explore the rest of your body, lingering on those that feel best. Try usual suspects like the neck, breasts, and scrotum or those less-explored like the backs of the knees, small of the back, and inner arms.

Positions to try
You can make any of the usual sex positions ass-friendly. Here’s how.
Facedown
To do this by yourself:
1.Lie facedown.
2.Reach your arm behind you and rest it on your back.
3.Reach your perineum or anus with your finger.
4.Tease and insert at your leisure.
To do this with a partner:
1.Lie facedown with your arms at your sides and legs slightly apart.
2.Have them sit next to you on the side most comfortable for them.
3.Have them gently massage your anus.
On your side, one leg to chest
To do this by yourself:
1.Lie on your side.
2.Bring your outer leg up toward your chest.
3.Reach your hand around to your anus.
4.Take your time to explore and stimulate as desired.
To do this with a partner:
1.Lie on your side.
2.Bring your outer leg toward your chest.
3.Have them sit behind you to reach your anus.
Doggy
To do this by yourself:
1.Get down on all fours.
2.Reach your arm between your legs or around your back to reach your anus.
3.Massage and penetrate as slowly or as urgently as you’d like.
To do this with a partner:
1.Get down on all fours.
2.Have them kneel behind you to reach your anus.
Cow
To do this by yourself:
1.Stabilize your dildo, vibrator, or other penetrative toy on the seat of a chair or other flat surface.
2.Straddle the chair or gently kneel down so that your butt is hovering just above the toy.
3.Slowly lower down and gradually insert the toy until you find the depth that feels best for you.
To do this with a partner:
1.Have them lie on their back.
2.Straddle them — or their well-positioned toy — with your knees on either side of their hips and your hands on the bed or floor.
3.Lower your butt and use your hips and hands to control the depth.

Other things to consider
Here are a few other things to consider before heading to B-town for some butt play.
The anus doesn’t self-lubricate
It just doesn’t — at least not in the same the way as a vagina.
Your anus is located at the end of your rectum, which is part of your digestive tract. The mucus membrane that lines the rectum contains glands that produce mucus to protect your digestive tract.
Anal mucus is sometimes secreted when you have a bowel movement or during anal stimulation, but the amount of mucus secreted — if any — isn’t enough to help penetration.
Lube is a MUST
We can’t stress this enough. If you’re going to partake in anal play, you have to use lube.
Without it, getting anything into the butt won’t just be painful — it can also be dangerous.
Rough entry can lead to skin tears and increase your risk of sexually transmitted and other infections.
A silicone or water-based lube works just fine and is safe for use with condoms and sex toys.
Although pregnancy isn’t possible, STIs are
Anorectal STIs are on the rise, and the risk is higher for those on the receiving end.
Small tears in the delicate skin in and around the anus increase the risk of transmission of STIs, including:
chlamydia
gonorrhea
HIV
human papillomavirus (HPV)
Other bacteria can be spread, too
Butt play can expose you to more than just STIs.
Bacteria such as Shigella, E. coli, and Campylobacter are transmitted through feces, and contact with poop is a very real possibility even if you can’t see it.
Without a condom, one can also contract:
hepatitis A, B, and C
parasites, such as Giardia
intestinal amoebas
Never go back to front without cleaning and getting a fresh condom
Again, this is about the poop. The bacteria in feces can wreak havoc on the urinary tract, so if you decide to mix it up with oral or penis-in-vagina sex, you need to wash up and put on a new condom.

The bottom line
The bottom can be loads of fun, and an anal orgasm is worth pursuing. Even if you don’t have one, chances are you’ll have some type of orgasm along the way. Be prepared, go slow, and enjoy all the pleasure the butt has to offer.