Keep Her In Your Bed and Out of His…
This morning I was sitting in a little coffee shop enjoying a latte and staring at my computer screen, thinking of topics for this very article.
Almost on cue, the barista (who is a friend of mine) starts screaming on his phone.
When I say screaming I mean loud screaming and cursing at the top of his lungs.
Luckily I was the only one in the shop or it would have been a crazy scene and people would have walked out.
What was he screaming about without getting too descriptive?
“You lying cheating wh—, I hate you, I can’t believe you had sex with him! What about the kids? How could you do this to me again? I want a divorce you pig!” Etc.
What a mess!
I’ve known this guy for about a year and we’ve become semi-close friends. He has no idea that I’m a world famous dating coach or that I deal with issues like this all the time with guys.
I know this situation all too well. I’ve heard it too many times. It pains me for a man’s life, marriage and his kids to have to endure a troubling situation like this. I really feel their pain. In one moment lives are forever changed.
So I thought it’d be good to delve into why women cheat.
Why Women Cheat
Cheating is one of the worst things you could do to a loved one. The emotional turmoil and pain will even drive some to suicide.
It takes years to heal your emotional wounds and sometimes they will never heal. Trust is forever broken within the relationship and within yourself.
A few minutes later he called the man himself because he knew who it was. As he sat there, screaming at his wife and her lover, I could only sit there and think one thing:
That my friend has only himself to blame.
He was most likely the cause of this not his wife or the man.
“What? How could he be the cause of all of this? What about his wife and that guy she slept with?”
I know what you’re thinking. Just hold on and I’ll get to my point and then you’ll see.
How Relationships Change Over Time (and You Can Use It to Your Advantage)
I have a saying:
“Always be the man your significant other would cheat on you with!”
What does that mean? It means exactly what I said, Always be the man you’re lady would cheat on you with!
We all know how we are in the beginning of a relationship.
We take our chicks out on dates…
Romance them…
Make them feel special…
And most importantly we make them into our little slaves in the bedroom and give them the best possible orgasms each and every single time we have sex with them!
In the beginning of a relationship we are the man of their dreams, we are the man she would cheat on all other men with, that’s why they fall in love with us!
But over time we (including women) stop being that person. We become complacent, take them for granted, don’t try as hard and we stop giving them the pleasure that all women need in the bedroom.
This is where the breakdown of most relationships occurs, and the real reason why women cheat.
The Easiest Way to Keep Her Faithful to You
In my experience, women who are emotionally and sexually satisfied and fulfilled will not cheat. The likelihood of her being seduced into the arms of another is very low, almost to the point of non-existent!
Women are complex creatures, more complex than men in my opinion. They live by their emotions. Emotions run their very existence, as opposed to men, who are logic-based.
Not only that, but women are inherently always on the lookout and hunt for the best possible man, their best option, the man that can provide the most. It’s just who they are.
A woman’s love and devotion are driven by benefit or perceived benefit. The more perceived benefits she can derive from a potential partner or relationship, the more value and love she will place upon it. Sounds crazy but it’s 100% true!
Are women capable of the loving in the same way a man loves?
Possibly but only to a small degree.
This has been studied over and over again by the scientific community, and the most common agreed-upon theory is that a woman’s love is primarily based on benefit and provisions.
Why “Being Rich” Is Definitely NOT The Solution By Itself…
When I speak of benefits I don’t necessarily speak of finances or riches, although that may come into play to some degree or another and only with some women.
Benefits can mean a multitude of different things such as travel, sex, living arrangements, material wealth, health, status, education, social value, etc…
As long as there is a perceived benefit from dating you that is inherently important to her values she will be and stay with you.
When these first perceived benefits are no longer in the dynamic of the relationship, she will lose interest and be more prone to looking elsewhere, and more likely to cheat to find them elsewhere!
Women will look to other men to fulfill their lack of emotional needs being met in their current relationship. They’ve learned that they are incapable of providing that for themselves, so it must come from somewhere else, and that somewhere else is another man.
This is why you always have to be the man she would cheat on you with!
It’s not a question of “if” she will cheat on you, it’s matter of “when will” she cheat on you if you are not being a solid man in the relationship.
Women will always have a back-up plan, and usually will not leave their current relationship unless they know there is someone there for them who will be able to provide for them on some level.
In most cases even if she is very happy in the relationship, she will still have men around in some form or another just in case something did go wrong.
Women are masters at this. If this wasn’t true, how do so many women have a “date” or “sleep” with a man immediately after a really big fight, or a temporary break-up?
Never underestimate a woman in this regard.
My Poor Friend At the Coffee Shop’s Story
Now back to the guy at shop who was just cheated on and who also started crying to me a few minutes later. I truly felt for this man. I can only imagine the havoc this will reap on his life, children, self esteem, trust, etc.
It’s absolutely horrible, but as he’s telling me she’s a lying cheating nasty person I’m sitting there looking at him knowing that 99% of it was his fault.
He’s about 35 years old, extremely over-weight, works for just over minimum wage, works all day and night, has two kids with her, trouble paying bills, has told me that they never have sex anymore, never vacation…the list goes on and on.
The lifestyle they are living is death to a romantic relationship. There’s no excitement, lust, romance, fun, sex, private dates without the kids, gift buying and no perceived benefit for a better or more satisfying life in the future in her current situation!
Judging by what he told me about the man who slept with his wife, I would imagine she slept with him just to feel like a woman again.
That was her perceived benefit at that moment, but surely everything else they were lacking as a couple attributed to her poor decision.
The reason I say this is because apparently this guy she cheated with lives in a different state and was visiting, has no money, does drugs and is always in trouble with the law. So, with some deductive reasoning, it must have been purely sexual.
She wanted to feel pretty again, She wanted to feel desirable once more. And she wanted a man to make love to her like her husband once did!
I’m not saying her actions aren’t without fault, but I understand them. I understand female psychology so well that I can literally predict their behavior in just about any situation with 100% accuracy.
If there was a moral to this story, it would be to always remember to be the man that your woman will cheat on you with and she never shall!
Notice how I changed the word in the above sentence to “will” where before I said “would!”
I did this because it is my promise to you that no matter how well you think you know your woman and how great she is as a person, if you are not making her feel like a woman on a continual basis, she will start to look elsewhere and she will cheat on you…
Don’t Believe Me? Here’s What to Do Next:
Craig wrote a great article about why so many women are getting “happy ending” massages.
(Spoiler alert: one reason is that they don’t get what they need from the man in their life!)
But it goes a lot deeper than that, into not only what women actually want, but what they crave, deep down inside, in places that they would never show any man, even their husbands and boyfriends.
It’s honestly pretty shocking, and makes my article above look like just the appetizer before the main course.
