DO you have ridiculously high standards in bed?
Expecting your partner to perform like a porn star during sex leaves them struggling to enjoy it, a recent study found.
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So what kind of a lover are you?
Do you demand perfection? Or does a lack of confidence get in the way? And what is it doing to your sex life?
Take our very intimate quiz to find out how you rate – and what you can do to improve.
Take our very intimate quiz to find out how you rate – and what you can do to improve.
1 When you think about your sex life, do you feel:
a) Happy to the point of being rather smug.
b) Pretty happy but there is always room for improvement and I worry if things don’t go well.
c) Anxious and worried that it’s not as good as other people’s.
a) Happy to the point of being rather smug.
b) Pretty happy but there is always room for improvement and I worry if things don’t go well.
c) Anxious and worried that it’s not as good as other people’s.
2 If you know you are going to have sex on a night, do you:
a) Look forward to it but don’t plan what will happen. You’ll see where the mood takes you both.
b) Plan the session and really think through what you are going to do to make it as perfect as possible.
c) Secretly dread it. You worry you are not good enough in bed and aren’t sexy enough.
a) Look forward to it but don’t plan what will happen. You’ll see where the mood takes you both.
b) Plan the session and really think through what you are going to do to make it as perfect as possible.
c) Secretly dread it. You worry you are not good enough in bed and aren’t sexy enough.
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3 Your partner drops a hint that an ex was great in bed. How does this make you feel?
a) A bit put out because you don’t like to think of your partner with someone else. But everyone has a sexual past so you soon forget all about it.
b) Angry and insulted. You want to be the best your partner has ever had and work very hard to make sure they are sexually satisfied.
c) Depressed. Your self–esteem is already low and this makes you feel even worse.
a) A bit put out because you don’t like to think of your partner with someone else. But everyone has a sexual past so you soon forget all about it.
b) Angry and insulted. You want to be the best your partner has ever had and work very hard to make sure they are sexually satisfied.
c) Depressed. Your self–esteem is already low and this makes you feel even worse.
4 You’ve just had sex with your partner and it didn’t go well. How does this make you feel?
a) Fine. You don’t expect every sex session to be amazing and of course things aren’t going to go perfectly every single time.
b) Miserable. You spend days rerunning the session in your head to work out what went wrong and you worry what your partner thinks about it all.
c) Upset – and as usual you blame yourself for why it went wrong.
a) Fine. You don’t expect every sex session to be amazing and of course things aren’t going to go perfectly every single time.
b) Miserable. You spend days rerunning the session in your head to work out what went wrong and you worry what your partner thinks about it all.
c) Upset – and as usual you blame yourself for why it went wrong.
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Do you find yourself rating your performance while you are actually having sex with your partner?
a) No. I check afterwards that they were happy and satisfied but I don’t worry during it. I’m too busy having fun for that.
b) I sometimes find it hard to stay in the moment because I’m imagining how I look and whether my technique is up to scratch.
c) Yes. I’m constantly looking at my partner to check that they are happy with how things are going.
a) No. I check afterwards that they were happy and satisfied but I don’t worry during it. I’m too busy having fun for that.
b) I sometimes find it hard to stay in the moment because I’m imagining how I look and whether my technique is up to scratch.
c) Yes. I’m constantly looking at my partner to check that they are happy with how things are going.
6 If you or your partner don’t have an orgasm, do you consider the session a failure?
a) No. It’s nice if it does happen but lots of factors affect whether you will or won’t climax. That’s life.
b) Yes. It means you haven’t satisfied your partner.
c) Yes. It means your partner hasn’t enjoyed themselves and you know they will be annoyed you didn’t climax.
a) No. It’s nice if it does happen but lots of factors affect whether you will or won’t climax. That’s life.
b) Yes. It means you haven’t satisfied your partner.
c) Yes. It means your partner hasn’t enjoyed themselves and you know they will be annoyed you didn’t climax.
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7 You are out with friends and everyone is boasting about what terrific sex they are having. How does this make you feel?
a) Great. You’re the one leading the discussion. You love talking about sex and how good your sex life is.
b) Interested and competitive. You know a lot about sex so can talk knowledgeably but want to sound impressive.
c) You spend the whole time worrying that your partner is wishing they were with someone else and wonder why you are not having the great sex everyone else seems to be having.
a) Great. You’re the one leading the discussion. You love talking about sex and how good your sex life is.
b) Interested and competitive. You know a lot about sex so can talk knowledgeably but want to sound impressive.
c) You spend the whole time worrying that your partner is wishing they were with someone else and wonder why you are not having the great sex everyone else seems to be having.
8 Your partner is very much a lights-on person. This makes you feel:
a) Pleased. You like your body and are very happy to show it off.
b) You’re fine with it, so long as you’re not having a fat day.
c) You feel self-conscious when your partner can see you and only really relax when the lights are off.
a) Pleased. You like your body and are very happy to show it off.
b) You’re fine with it, so long as you’re not having a fat day.
c) You feel self-conscious when your partner can see you and only really relax when the lights are off.
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9 You would like to try something new in bed but you don’t because you are worried your partner will laugh at you if it all goes wrong.
a) Of course things go wrong sometimes if you are trying new things. Sex is supposed to be fun and having a laugh is all part of it.
b) You don’t think your partner would make fun of you but you don’t relish looking like a fool either.
c) You get nervous whenever sex doesn’t follow the same routine, so you are highly unlikely to suggest something new.
a) Of course things go wrong sometimes if you are trying new things. Sex is supposed to be fun and having a laugh is all part of it.
b) You don’t think your partner would make fun of you but you don’t relish looking like a fool either.
c) You get nervous whenever sex doesn’t follow the same routine, so you are highly unlikely to suggest something new.
10 You are watching a TV show which has lots of raunchy scenes in it. How does this make you feel?
a) Turned on – especially if the characters are hot. So what if your partner’s checking them out? You are too.
b) A little uncomfortable if everyone is really good-looking. You don’t think you are half as sexy as the people on screen.
c) Unnerved. The actors are better- looking and better at sex than you.
a) Turned on – especially if the characters are hot. So what if your partner’s checking them out? You are too.
b) A little uncomfortable if everyone is really good-looking. You don’t think you are half as sexy as the people on screen.
c) Unnerved. The actors are better- looking and better at sex than you.
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