As a college student, I got so high off a space cake in Amsterdam I started an argument with a bag of M&Ms. When I finally sobered up, I decided I was done with marijuana for life. So little did I think, even now that I live in California, that I'd have any interest in anything cannabis related. Until I heard of Foria lubes.
The brand's lubricants promise to enhance "tactile sensations" in the female nether regions—in other words, give you better orgasms. I was slightly skeptical, but since it's always been significantly easier for me to get off with a vibrator than with a partner, I decided to give it a go.
Foria makes two versions: 'Pleasure', which contains THC (and is only available in California and Colorado) and 'Awaken', which is crafted with hemp-derived CBD and other so-called natural aphrodisiacs including kava root, cinnamon, ginger, cacao, vanilla, and peppermint.
Both CBD and THC can enhance arousal by increasing blood flow to the tissue. This can result in increased sensation and less discomfort which equals, as you may have surmised, an easier orgasm. (If you're hoping to get high, sorry to dash your dreams, but the heightened experienced is local to your naughty bits.) In addition to more easily achieved orgasms, both lubes promise enhanced sensation, diminished pain and discomfort, increased desire, and in the case of Pleasure, a sound night's sleep. At $48 for 30ml, I sure hoped so.
Of course, there was only one way to find out.
Since I live in California, I decided to go for gold and try Pleasure first. Foria recommends spraying the lube directly all over your lady parts—clitoris, inner and outer labia, and inside the vagina—then waiting at least 15 minutes before getting busy. (So technically, it's more of a pre-lube.) This is where it gets slightly awkward. Lying around half-naked while your partner (we'll call him J) sprays your nether regions with a lube feels only slightly more exciting than a gynecological exam.
"Make sure you get it everywhere," I said with the seriousness of someone about to embark on a major scientific study.
The bad news is waiting for the entire 15 minutes proved more difficult than we anticipated. We were ready to go and trying to hold back like racehorses champing at the bit. The good news is holy mother of God! This lube might be the greatest contribution to my sex life since the invention of the vibrator. Within minutes, I felt warm and tingly down below. And that was before J even touched me.
Once he went south, I thought I was going to explode. Every touch was amplified, and every sensation intensified. It was like my entire lady area was having its own personal fireworks show. The big O came quickly and seemingly lasted longer than any other orgasm I could remember. It was like the dial had been turned up from 10 to 15. On a scale of 1-10.
We kept the party going and let's just say Pleasure did not let me down. Even during regular sex, everything felt considerably deeper and more intense than normal. So much so I almost wanted him to stop. Keyword being almost. He kept going and so did I. Hello orgasm number two!
Unfortunately, men aren't affected by either lube.(Another important note: the lubes aren't compatible with latex condoms.) Though J couldn't experience the same waves of euphoria, (which made me feel a teensy bit sorry for him), he definitely enjoyed himself more than he normally did. By the end we were both covered in sweat, lying there wondering what on earth just happened.
"I'm going to get a heart attack if we keep having sex with that stuff," he said. I'm pretty sure he wouldn't, but his words were a testament to the intensity of the entire experience.
For the sake of science (and to make sure the effects weren't just psychosomatic), we repeated the experiment for a few days to make sure it wasn't just a one-time incident, alternating between Pleasure and Awaken. Suffice it to say, it was not. Though Awaken wasn't as intense Pleasure, it still managed to do the trick. Given how mind-blowingly crazy Pleasure felt, I'd be happy sticking to Awaken most of the time.
Could I get addicted to Foria's weed lubes? It's a distinct possibility. But I'm not sure I would want that level of sensitivity every time I have sex. I might not ever leave the bedroom.
Having said that, am I going to make sure I am fully stocked at all times? Absolutely.
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