Masturbation Is A Hell Of A Lot More Romantic Than We Give It Credit For

At its core, masturbation doesn't seem like the sexiest thing that couples could do together. It's something you do alone; something you've been doing alone since you were a sexually confused pre-teen. So why bother bringing it into the bedroom? Well, like most things, masturbation isn't given its due credit. Though it might seem like something you just do to feel good when you're alone, masturbation can be sexier than you might imagine. Keep reading to find out masturbation is a hell of a lot more romantic than we give it credit for.

Reputation. Masturbation doesn’t necessarily get a bad rep, but it’s not exactly something someone thinks of when they’re trying to be intimate, either. Makes sense. It’s something you do when you’re alone to get off. But if you try hard enough, you can find potential in just about anything — even masturbation.

Shame. Some people feel a sense of shame with masturbation, which plays a big role in why so many people go so far as to kind of pretend it doesn’t exist. When a partner’s around, they act as though they’d never even dream of touching themselves, especially with them around. But that’s all a bunch of bull.

Touching. Partners watching each other touch themselves is incredibly intimate, but not often treated as a legitimate sex act. At its core, masturbation is just as much a part of sex as any other sexual act. Even if it’s just treated as foreplay, it’s still incredibly sexy.

Closeness. In a way, masturbation is almost more intimate than sex when it’s done together. You’re experiencing something that primarily belonged to you for years, but now you’re sharing it with someone else.

Visual stimulation. Watching someone masturbate can always make you feel as though you're seeing something that you're not supposed to see. Which is what makes it so tantalizing. It feels wrong, which gives you all the more reason to want it.

Bonding. Like it or not, mutual masturbation is a total bonding experience between partners. You’re naked, touching yourself with your partner, showing them how you explore your own body — and how you always have pretty much for most of your life. This isn’t something you can do with just anybody.

Pacing. When most people masturbate (we’re referring to the guys here, mostly), it’s a rush job. They want to be over and done with. As much fun as they may be having with the material (the adult films), they just can’t wait for that climax. But that’s not how it always has to be, so when there’s a partner involved and the pacing is tempered a bit, the experiences are like polar opposites.

Relaxing. Let’s be honest — sex can be exhausting. Yes, we love it, and yes, it’s amazing, but there’s a comfortability to masturbation that really shouldn’t be ignored by partners. There’s no reason to look down on masturbation as though it’s a half-a**ed attempt at sex. Sometimes, it’s just easier, and easier doesn’t necessarily make it worse.

Together. Too often, people think that once they start a relationship, masturbation might as well go out the window. They may wonder what the point of it is if you’ve got a partner. The hand is pointless. But it’s really not. These folks just may not be incorporating it correctly.

Solo. Masturbating together doesn’t even have to be a mutual experience. Let your partner masturbate themselves, and use this method as a form of teasing. Build yourself up until you enter into the fun. It’s like mental foreplay for masturbation.

Massaging. Masturbation can absolutely be integrated into a full body massage — mainly because that’s what masturbation pretty much is. Light some candles. Use some fancy oils. Start with nonsexual parts of your partner’s body, and then work your way towards parts of their bodies that gets them stimulated.

Communicating. Masturbating is a perfect opportunity for you to understand your partner in a more sexual way. You’re not putting effort into having sex, so put some into communication. Ask them what they like, and in turn, tell your partner what you like. Take advantage of this.

Premarital. Some couples who aren’t really wild about the idea of having sex before marriage (don’t laugh, you jerks) sometimes turn to masturbation as a loophole. In those cases, masturbation is the closest to sexual romance that they can get, so in that sense, it represents the pinnacle of sexual intimacy. Once you look at it like that, you may appreciate it a bit more.

Cozy up. The next time you’re with your significant other, don’t frown upon masturbation. Embrace it. Waive off the taboos or whatever other baggage is in your way, and learn to have fun with it. You’re in a relationship, so there’s no reason to brush masturbation under the rug anymore.

Hard time. Don’t give masturbation such a hard time. Sure, it’s something you were able to master in the 7th grade, but that doesn’t make it any less special. It’s a bonding experience that you formed with yourself, and now it’s a bonding you can share with your partner. So… share it.