If you have ever wondered what it’s like to be straight and dating someone who happens to be trans, it really shouldn’t be any different than dating any other person of the opposite sex. Your sexual orientation has more to do with a person’s gender than what their biological sex is. Many straight people tend to get hung up on this fact, but there’s no need to.
Dating. Dating is pretty difficult for anyone but when you are trans it can be even harder. Some people unfortunately get very hung up on people’s biological sex instead of what a person’s actual gender is.
Question. There is unfortunately a problem among straight men who date trans women. Many are afraid that people will question their sexuality or see them as gay, which is not true.
Insecure. Laverne Cox, actress, activist, and trans woman, has been quoted as calling men who wish to keep their dating trans women a secret “insecure as f*ck.” Trans women are women. That’s just how it is.
Taboo Factor. Jessika Gonzalez talked to the Daily Beast about her difficulties of dating as a straight trans woman. She has found that it was difficult because many men “ are more looking for the taboo factor.”
No Second Date. “It’s very rare that I find a guy who is willing to go on a date. The ones I have gone on actual dates with—to the movies, dinner, or to play putt-putt golf—in the end, they always ask, ‘Well, can we go back to your apartment and have fun?’ And that’s the end of it. There’s no second date,” she stated.
Hung Up. She learned that it was because the men she had been dating were getting hung up on the fact that she was trans. They would tell her, “I want to have someone I can bring home to mom, that I can have a life with, and that I can have a family with. I can’t have any of that with you. I can never introduce you to my family or my friends.”
Passing. She soon learned to not even bring the subject up to people. She’s considered to be “passing” so many people don’t even second guess that she had been assigned male at birth. “...if I can get my get audience to believe that I am a full cisgender woman, I’ve done my job”
How Friends Will React. Kimberly Horne, another straight trans woman, also talked to the Daily Beast about dating. She told the site that the most difficult part about dating men is that they are very worried that they will be seen as gay by their friends. She also finds it’s a lot of work having to educate her prospective partner’s friends and family.
Easier. She has also found that not letting people know she’s trans tends to make things a bit easier. “If I don’t tell people I’m trans, I get a lot more of what look like real messages—people who are trying to charm me in some way. It may not go anywhere, but they put in some effort.”
Essay. Nate Rohrbach from Pennsylvania, penned an essay about dating his trans partner, Ty Kowalski. Nate first became taken by Ty after seeing videos she posted online about her life as a trans woman.
Reaching Out. His friends reacted negatively to the videos which he found very upsetting. He wanted to get to know the real her so he reached out to her. They quickly became friends and before long the two developed feelings for each other.
Nervous at First. Nate admits in the piece that he was nervous at first about how people would react to their relationship. Ty taught him to relax and care less about what people think.
Acceptance. His family had a tough time at first but soon became more accepting and supportive. “As for my friends, most of them accept our relationship, praise how strong I’ve become since meeting Ty, and applaud how committed the two of us are to each other,” he wrote.
Happiness. Ty was interviewed for the site She Said about her life as a trans woman and the videos she had posted. When asked about Nate she happily replied, “He treats me like the woman I always thought I was. He is the most real and beautiful part of my life.”
How Much of a Difference. Nate concluded his essay saying, “If you feel a connection with someone, you shouldn’t second-guess it simply because they’re different. Choose to value them as a person. If I’d chosen to look the other way, I never would have met Ty, and I never would have known just how much of a difference one person could make in my life.”
No comments:
Post a Comment