5 Sex Signs Of Being In Love

If you’ve ever had really good sex, you know that your whole body feels different. You feel beautiful, sexy and happy. Even your skin and your hair seem to cooperate more, and your clothes fit a little bit better. You smile more, and people notice how happy you are because it shows—inside and out.

But, how do you know if you’re in love and not just having really great sex? There are slight differences.

1. You reach orgasm quickly

For some women, reaching orgasm is a debacle and a huge source of stress. When you’re with a new partner, you’re probably more distracted by whether or not your clitoris is going to show up for the game than you are about connecting with your partner.

However, when you’re really in love with someone, you’ll notice that your body starts taking over, and those concerns you have about climaxing melt into the back of your mind.

Relaxing with a partner you love and trust is one of the most efficient ways to have an orgasm. If you’ve had a bad experience with a man, or are really insecure about how much work an orgasm takes, it’s hard to just lean into the experience and have fun.

You’ll know you’re in love when your orgasms come easily and quickly, without really even having enough time to think, “I wonder if I will have an orgasm this time.”

2. You’re genuinely curious about what your partner wants

A lot of times, we ask our partners what their fantasies are out of a desire to try something new or to feed into our insecurities (“Oh, he likes pigtails and skirts? I’m too old for him.”).

When we’re really in love, though, we find ourselves thinking, “I want to know what my lover’s fantasies are so that I can have that experience with them.” You both genuinely seek out more ways to please each other, and it’s exciting and romantic when you do.

There’s a difference between loving and lusting when it comes to fantasies, role play and trying new or kinkier things. You’re connecting over the things you want rather than just going at it like rabbits to reach orgasm. You’ll know you’re in love when you’re both trying new things and exploring each other’s bodies and limits.

3. You’re not insecure

Everyone is at least a little insecure the first time they get naked in front of another person—even at the doctor’s office—but being with someone sexually leaves more than just our skin exposed.

We all have histories with our bodies, some more traumatic than others, and we all bring our own perceptions of sex and body image to the table. In an unhealthy relationship or a short-term fling, your body image issues may be exacerbated, and you’ll find yourself turning out the lights or covering up quickly.

You’ll know you’re in love when you’re comfortable in your own skin and when you’re OK with the parts of you that weren’t sure about before. Your partner will likely worship every inch of your body, and that level of security and romance can really help you to come out of your shell. You’ll have the best sex of your life once you reach this point!

4. You trust your partner completely

When you find a partner you love, you’ll find that sex loses all of the previous negative power it held in your life. If you’ve had a traumatic experience, or just a bad breakup, you might find yourself unable to enjoy sex 100% because your own mind isn’t in it.

With a lover who loves you in return, however, you’ll find yourself relinquishing a lot of that stress and letting them do things with you that you never even thought you’d be able to do.

Maybe it’s trying a new position, using toys, role playing or just doing it with the lights on. The right partner will bring out your inner sex god or goddess because they know exactly what you need to feel comfortable.

5. You connect intensely during sex

Almost everyone loves sex, and if you’re having good sex, you want to have more of it. When you’re in love, the level of connection you reach while having good sex is just out of this world. It doesn’t have to be cheesy eye contact or kissing deeply, and it doesn’t have to be slow or sweet.

Maybe the two of you move together like you’ve been doing this a long, long time, or maybe you know exactly what spots to touch to send each other over the edge. Whatever it is, you’re connecting and telling the other person, “I know you.” What’s hotter than that?

What about you? Think you’re in love? Next time you’re making hot n’ heavy love with your partner, see what subtle cues your body is giving you. Love and sex aren’t always the same thing, but when you find both, you’ll know.

Why Is Masturbation Good For You?

In ninth grade, someone asked, during a day that was dedicated to sex education, what the girls used when masturbating. Someone jokingly replied that “the cucumbers at ICA (a supermarket) are excellent.” It sort of sums up the relationship Swedes have with masturbation—they accept it as a healthy part of life.

Sadly, masturbation has often been written off in history books as taboo, where anything the least bit pleasant was considered a sin, and some of that stigma lives on.

Truth be told, masturbation is good for you—in moderation. i.e. You rule your desires, or your desires rule you. So long as you rule them, you can live them—and who doesn’t want to live their desires?

Know what you want

Unless you know what you want in the bedroom, you’re helpless with men. That’s to say, if you don’t know what works for you, you will accept anything a man does that feels remotely good. It could be so much better if only you could tell him what you like.

Of course, you find out what you enjoy from interactions with men as well, but it makes it much easier if you already know what you want when you enter the bedroom.

That way, you can help your man as well as he doesn’t necessarily know what he’s doing—he’s had to rely on what the women before you taught him or articles about sex from the experts.

Articles are no substitute for the real thing though, so any man will be thankful if you help him by teaching him how to please you. Trust me: he wants to please you.

Men don’t feel complete unless they can please their woman. They feel like dismal failures if you don’t show your appreciation for them in the bedroom. and it gets easier appreciating them if they know what they’re doing.

Masturbation won’t teach you everything you want to know in the bedroom—sooner or later, you will have to find a man (or woman) to explore what someone else can do for you—but you will learn how you like to be touched. That itself will give you confidence.

The health aspects

Sexual arousal and orgasms are good for you. Research suggests that women who have more orgasms are less susceptible to heart disease and type-2 diabetes. Add a healthy diet, regular sleeping patterns, time spent outdoors and exercise, and you’re on your way to great health!

Research also suggests that sexual arousal might help to prevent cystitis (urinary tract infection) as the cervix and the cervical mucous get stretched during arousal and this enables fluid circulation, meaning cervical fluids containing bacteria get flushed out. Immune function is also said to be improved thanks to masturbation as it controls cortisol levels, which regulate immune functioning.

Feeling a bit depressed? Endorphins are released in the bloodstream when you masturbate/orgasm, which can help to prevent depression. What’s more, when you orgasm, the muscles in your vagina contract, meaning: a) blood is pumped around, which can prevent menstrual cramps and b) the muscles get exercised, making them stronger.

It’s important you keep these muscles strong to prevent incontinence. You can also improve muscle strength using Kegel exercises. Ideally, you combine it with other pelvic floor exercises as well as exercises to strengthen your butt (squatting while sticking out your butt works; it’s been said that a lot of squats are a great way to prepare for birthing as well). Combined, they will prevent incontinence by helping to support your lower parts.

Of course, too much sex or masturbation can also irritate your vagina. So as to avoid both urinary tract infections and candida (yeast), eat probiotics, and use probiotics in your vagina. You can read more about preventing and getting rid of yeast infections.

The Big O and the feel good factor

Ever noticed that orgasms make you feel good? Either they relax you and enable you to fall asleep like a baby, or energize you like the Duracell bunny. They release a lot of good chemicals into your bloodstream, so as meditating to get into the right frame of mind is good, so is having an orgasm.

Of course, you shouldn’t use orgasms or anything else as a way of escaping your problems—sooner or later, you have to face them—but it helps to face them when you’re in the right frame of mind.

Easier to orgasm

The more you orgasm, the easier it becomes. As a lot of women have a hard time orgasming, this will help them. Plus, some women don’t orgasm without their clitoris being stimulated and you can actually do that yourself while having sex with a man—even when he’s inside of you. In fact, it turns a lot of men on.

As you will also know what works for you and how you like to be touched, it will make it easier to direct a man, which will also help you to orgasm. Discovering your clitoris, U-spot, A-spot and G- spot helps you to direct your man to these spots.

Lessen your inhibitions

We all want to be a sexy vixen in the bedroom when we meet the right guy, but how do you practice in the meantime? Masturbation can be the key to getting used to feeling sexy, exploring sexual fantasies and even learning to talk dirty.

Most men love it when you talk dirty, or at the very least verbally letting them know how good they make you feel. The first time you start talking to a guy in the bedroom, it can feel awkward as, well, there were no classes for that in school, so practicing on your own can be a great help.

Masturbation is good for you—very good for you, in fact. As long as you don’t masturbate obsessively or use masturbation as an escape from problems you know you need to deal with, it’s great for your health. It should be part of a healthy lifestyle.

Are you a Casanova or more of a quick leg over? Take our saucy quiz to see how your sex life rates

DO you have ridiculously high standards in bed?

Expecting your partner to perform like a porn star during sex leaves them struggling to enjoy it, a recent study found.

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Between the sheets... find out how you rate in the romp stakesCredit: Getty Images

So what kind of a lover are you?

Do you demand perfection? Or does a lack of confidence get in the way? And what is it doing to your sex life?
Take our very intimate quiz to find out how you rate – and what you can do to improve.

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1 When you think about your sex life, do you feel:
a) Happy to the point of being rather smug.
b) Pretty happy but there is always room for improvement and I worry if things don’t go well.
c) Anxious and worried that it’s not as good as other people’s.

2 If you know you are going to have sex on a night, do you:
a) Look forward to it but don’t plan what will happen. You’ll see where the mood takes you both.
b) Plan the session and really think through what you are going to do to make it as perfect as possible.
c) Secretly dread it. You worry you are not good enough in bed and aren’t sexy enough.

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Full of anticipation or dread... how does the prospect of sex make you feel?Credit: Getty Images

3 Your partner drops a hint that an ex was great in bed. How does this make you feel?
a) A bit put out because you don’t like to think of your partner with someone else. But everyone has a sexual past so you soon forget all about it.
b) Angry and insulted. You want to be the best your partner has ever had and work very hard to make sure they are sexually satisfied.
c) Depressed. Your self–esteem is already low and this makes you feel even worse.

4 You’ve just had sex with your partner and it didn’t go well. How does this make you feel?
a) Fine. You don’t expect every sex session to be amazing and of course things aren’t going to go perfectly every single time.
b) Miserable. You spend days rerunning the session in your head to work out what went wrong and you worry what your partner thinks about it all.
c) Upset – and as usual you blame yourself for why it went wrong.

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Ex-lovers... How would you feel if your partner drops a hint that an ex was great in bedCredit: Getty Images

Do you find yourself rating your performance while you are actually having sex with your partner?
a) No. I check afterwards that they were happy and satisfied but I don’t worry during it. I’m too busy having fun for that.
b) I sometimes find it hard to stay in the moment because I’m imagining how I look and whether my technique is up to scratch.
c) Yes. I’m constantly looking at my partner to check that they are happy with how things are going.

6 If you or your partner don’t have an orgasm, do you consider the session a failure?
a) No. It’s nice if it does happen but lots of factors affect whether you will or won’t climax. That’s life.
b) Yes. It means you haven’t satisfied your partner.
c) Yes. It means your partner hasn’t enjoyed themselves and you know they will be annoyed you didn’t climax.

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The moment has come... If you or your partner don’t have an orgasm, do you consider the session a failure?Credit: Getty Images

7 You are out with friends and everyone is boasting about what terrific sex they are having. How does this make you feel?
a) Great. You’re the one leading the discussion. You love talking about sex and how good your sex life is.
b) Interested and competitive. You know a lot about sex so can talk knowledgeably but want to sound impressive.
c) You spend the whole time worrying that your partner is wishing they were with someone else and wonder why you are not having the great sex everyone else seems to be having.

8 Your partner is very much a lights-on person. This makes you feel:
a) Pleased. You like your body and are very happy to show it off.
b) You’re fine with it, so long as you’re not having a fat day.
c) You feel self-conscious when your partner can see you and only really relax when the lights are off.

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Lights on... or does it leave you feeling self-conscious?Credit: Getty Images

9 You would like to try something new in bed but you don’t because you are worried your partner will laugh at you if it all goes wrong.
a) Of course things go wrong sometimes if you are trying new things. Sex is supposed to be fun and having a laugh is all part of it.
b) You don’t think your partner would make fun of you but you don’t relish looking like a fool either.
c) You get nervous whenever sex doesn’t follow the same routine, so you are highly unlikely to suggest something new.

10 You are watching a TV show which has lots of raunchy scenes in it. How does this make you feel?
a) Turned on – especially if the characters are hot. So what if your partner’s checking them out? You are too.
b) A little uncomfortable if everyone is really good-looking. You don’t think you are half as sexy as the people on screen.
c) Unnerved. The actors are better- looking and better at sex than you.

Revealed, how HALF of women feel sexually aroused while breastfeeding

RESEARCH revealed up to 50 per cent of women have experienced sexual arousal
while breastfeeding - and eight per cent admitted to having orgasms.

According to Fusion, the new study found that between 33 and 50 per cent of
women have felt aroused while nursing their child.

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And while this information will make many feel uncomfortable, Mary Jo
Podgurski, a nurse and childbirth educator, explained: “It’s not a woman’s
choice, it’s how we are wired.”

Two chemicals are released during breastfeeding - prolactin, which stimulates
milk production, and the "feel good" hormone oxytocin, which
causes the uterus to contract.

According to a 2006 Dutch study of 153 mums, eight per cent of women have
experienced an orgasm during breastfeeding.

This is because during an orgasm, like breastfeeding, oxytocin is released and
the uterus also contracts.

Nipple stimulation, uterine contractions and hormones can cause feelings of
arousal but it doesn't mean mums are being turned on by their babies.

"You’re just pushing certain buttons,” said Mary.

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An analysis of 59 women revealed at least a quarter of those who reported
arousal during breastfeeding felt guilty but it's a topic that needs to be
discussed.

Multiple orgasms ain’t all that and 7 other sex myths busted

YOU'VE probably heard a million different pieces of advice when it comes to sex...it's hard to know what to listen to.

After all, haven’t we all at some point wondered if we’re missing out when it comes to sizzling sex?

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Think you know everything about sex? It turns out you may have a few things wrongCredit: Getty - Contributor

Your best friend confides her multiple orgasms are mind blowing and a "must", or that colleague that says sex simply isn’t worth having if you two don’t climax together.

Such things given as facts are potentially damaging and all-too-fragile sexual confidence takes a knock.

But trust me, forget half of what people tell you, they over-state and outright fib about their sex lives.

Here's seven sex myths busted to clear up confusion in the bedroom...

Myth 1: Multiple orgasms are a mind-blowing must

Only 10-15 per cent of women say they’ve experienced multiple orgasms.

And it’s not every time they have sex.

To make multiple orgasms a goal is another damaging pressure.

A single, truly satisfying, orgasm is by far enough.

Myth 2: Men want more sex than women

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You may think that men want it more than women but actually a man's libido drops first in a relationshipCredit: Getty - Contributor

Not true! Early in a relationship many women don’t have the confidence to initiate sex.

They wait for him to make a move, making it appear that men want more sex.

Plus in long-term relationships it’s more likely the man’s sexual desire dwindles first.

Some men appear to put sex in a compartment – something they enjoyed early on but aren’t that bothered about as time goes by.

Whereas many women see physical intimacy as a sign the entire relationship is still working.

I hate to generalise, but they feel an emotional connection through sex with their partner.

Plus as women mature their sexual confidence grows and they know what works for them – and want it! Knowledge they didn’t have in their 20s and even 30s.

Myth 3: It's bad sex if you don't orgasm

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Just because you don't orgasm it doesn't mean you don't experience sexual pleasureCredit: Getty - Contributor

There’s enormous pressure to make orgasms the goal of sex.

This stops people enjoying "mindful-sex" – being in the moment, experiencing the pleasurable sensations during foreplay.

Far fewer people would complain about bad sex if they’d simply remove the orgasm goal.

You might have fantastic foreplay but are simply too tired to reach orgasm. That doesn’t mean you didn’t have sexual pleasure.

Stop focusing on the end result, start enjoying the journey.

Myth 4: There's something wrong with you if you don't orgasm

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If you don't orgasm during penetrative sex there is nothing wrong with you, foreplay is just as importantCredit: Getty - Contributor

Just because porn stars seem to orgasm the moment penetration starts this simply isn’t the case for 70 per cent of women.

About 30 per cent climax fairly regularly during full penetration, but for the rest?

They fake it or reach orgasm through other methods like oral sex.

An orgasm had through oral or manual stimulation, or with sex toys, is as good as an orgasm through penetration.

Myth 5: Sex should be like porn

A film’s a film – it’s scripted, it’s make-believe.

While porn can be fun for a couple to watch occasionally, it should be treated as total fantasy.

Never, ever pressure yourselves to have sex like porn stars.

Myth 6: Using sex toys ruins your enjoyment of sex with your partner

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Using sex toys doesn't mean you won't enjoy sex with your partner again...in fact you can make it a shared experienceCredit: Getty - Contributor

This myth is damaging for women, making them feel guilty about enjoying toys.

And it’s damaging for men thinking they’ll be redundant if their partner loves some sex-toy-joy.

Sex toys are fantastic for sex-play together and  when flying solo.

Make it a shared sex-perience - with toys for both of you – and neither of you will buy into this myth.