What To Do When Sex Gets Weird

Sex is weird, when you think about it.  It's a lot of biology, noises and fluids.  We do it to populate Earth by making babies.  As humans, we have a scientific urge to fit together like puzzle pieces and "fertilize" the planet together.  That is basically as weird as it gets.  The best part about sex is that we usually don't think about the weird stuff at all.  The good outweighs the weird in a big way, and it's usually great.  We have a tendency to block out all of the weirdness and concentrate on the great wonders of physical pleasure.  But what if something happens during sex that makes us take a step back and say "That was weird?"  Is weird always bad?  Can we get past weird in a sexual encounter?  The answer is, it depends.  Here is what you can do when sex gets weird.

What do you think is weird about sex?

Laugh it off. Sometimes you have to laugh during sex. Things get weird and it can be funny. There are noises, awkward moments, naked times. Laugh. It can definitely cut the tension. If your partner can’t laugh with you sometimes during the deed, they might not be the person for you.

Be sensitive. Sure, you can laugh. But not at anyone’s expense. If you feel like your partner is embarrassed or feeling extra weird, be careful. Sex is a vulnerable activity and all parties should be having a good time. Definitely no pointing or disgusted faces. Shame has no place in the bedroom.

Talk about it. Sometimes, it requires a collaborative effort to fix. Discomfort? Work together to make it better. The weird issue requires cleanup? Don’t hesitate to ask your partner where they keep their paper towels. Sometimes sex stuff just needs to be acknowledged between two parties. There’s nothing wrong with clear communication.

Ignore it. If it’s something small that happens every once in a while during sex, feel free to keep your mouth shut. You don’t want to make the other person feel weird if it’s unnecessary. Maybe they didn’t notice. Maybe acknowledgment will put a halt on good sex. Either way, you can definitely situationally ignore the weirdness.

Move on. On to the next thing. Whatever your reaction is, get past it. What is so weird that you have to stop great sex? Make a judgment call. Will a conversation ruin what you have going? Maybe you’re having sex in a public bathroom and you just don’t have time to talk about it.

As yourself why you feel weird about it. If it’s a funny sound or a body issue, maybe you need to take a step back and get your maturity in check. You could have some underlying feelings that are making you uncomfortable about what’s going on. If it’s something that your partner did that makes you feel uneasy or unsafe, tell them or get out of there.

Take a break. If something is strange enough that you need to reflect on it, but not strange enough for you to sneak out of someone’s window while they’re in the bathroom, a breather is perfectly acceptable. Like most things in life, walking away and postponing the situation can do a world of good. Just call a time out.

Speak up if it bothers you. If you don’t like what happens during a sexual encounter, say something. That way, your partner can fix what they’re doing and if they don’t, you can kick them to the curb. As soon as you tell someone to stop doing something during sex, it becomes nonconsensual. So, if your partner continues despite your protests, it is beyond not cool. Boundaries: learn where yours are, and put your foot down.

Speak up if you like it. Weird can translate to "new and exciting." If you experience something amazing in bed that you’ve never felt before, let your partner know! That way, they can do it again or at least try. If it’s too weird, they might need to do some reflection before round two. No one will know what you want if you don't ask for it!

Change things up. If something is weird and you don’t want it to happen again, fix it. If something felt wrong, move your body in a new way so it won’t happen again. If your partner screams something that weirds you out, tell them to be quiet. Don't let weird things build up and affect your relationship or ruin your sex life.

Do a safety check. Is all protection where it should be? Is everyone ok? If some strange acrobatics were performed, make sure your partner has not thrown out their back. Once everything is cleared and in it’s rightful place, you can continue. Safety first and safety all the way through. Weird things can lead to accidents, so be weary.

Enjoy it. Strange can be sexy. Experimentation can be weird and wonderful. If someone pulls out a move that you’ve never seen before and it’s amazing, take it all in. Compliments are usually warmly accepted when deserved. Plus, open communication about open mindedness can open a whole new world of awesome sex.

Dip out. If excrement is involved or someone calls you their grandma’s name when they’re climaxing, get out of there. Sometimes you need to spare everyone the embarrassment and slip out without saying a word. If you can't handle the situation, that's ok! You don't need to stay in it.

Stay calm. Sometimes weird can be infuriating. It’s pretty weird when your partner calls you by the wrong name or has unexplainable hickeys. Try to take a moment before you smash all of their windows or submerge a cell phone. Maybe they have an excuse! If the explanation is weird too, proceed with your insanity.

Check in. Always make sure your partner is feeling safe and happy in bed. If your partner seems to be weirded out or uncomfortable with something, ask them about it. You should always make sure you’re both on the same page, and that you’re not doing anything to make someone else feel uncomfortable. Sex can be weird in different ways for different people. Ask them what's up.