How to Take Control of Your Dating Life After Divorce

Divorce Tips for Men Who Are Ready to Move Forward

So you’re divorced and ready to jump back into the dating game. Congrats! This is a big step.

You’re single again and can do what you want…and that feels pretty damn good.

But here’s the thing about divorce: it’s nearly impossible to avoid it on a first date.

Just take it from me — after I got divorced, I did everything in my power to hide it from women I met. And after being rejected over and over, I learned that this is a huge mistake.

So how do you address your divorce on a date without driving her away?

Today, I’m going to show you with my 3 essential rules:

Rule #1: The Best Way to Handle Your Date’s Questions About Your Ex

If you’re recently divorced, it’s probably been a while since your last date. And for that reason, it’s completely normal for you to be nervous.

When you meet a new woman, she’ll have questions — often many — about your current status.

So don’t lie, and don’t dress up the truth. If you’re not 100% divorced yet, don’t tell her you are. This will only come back to bite you later on.

On the other hand, you want to keep it positive.

For example, if your date asks about your ex, don’t bash her. No matter how terrible she was to you, keep it as positive and objective as possible.

Women want to know about your situation, but dissing your ex is a major turn-off for her.

Why?

Unless your date just parachuted into the city from a remote jungle, she’s probably en ex:

• An ex-wife…
• Ex-girlfriend…
• Ex-lover…

So if you start ripping on your ex, your date might feel sympathetic toward her. And in turn, it might cause her to suspect that you — not your ex — were the problem with the marriage.

Now, that doesn’t mean you should be singing ex’s praises, either. If you’re too positive about her, you’ll sound like you’re not over your marriage. And that’s also bad.

It’s important to walk a fine line of facts without opinion. You think your ex is the worst thing that ever happened to you?

Instead try, “We just didn’t communicate well.”

You think your ex is awesome, and you don’t know why you got divorced?

How about, “We grew apart and made a mutual decision to part ways.”

She cheated on you? Try this:

“My ex cheated on me. With my brother AND his UPS guy.”

Let your date draw her own conclusions about your ex.

Rule #2: Your Kids Are the Best! (But Keep it to Yourself)

This is the rule that I break most often – and I sometimes wonder if it didn’t cost me a date or two.

Your kids, like mine, are probably the most awesome in the world. So when your date asks about your kids, describe them. But only briefly.

Women like to see that you’re a loving father — that’s a sign you’re a provider — but they don’t want you to yammer on about your children for hours.

So answer the questions she has about your kids, but don’t introduce the topic unless she starts talking about her kids first.

Now, she may go on and on (and on) about her own kids…

But if that’s the case, there’s nothing you can do. It may seem unfair, yet it’s the way of the world.

Women want you to listen to them, but they also want you to focus on them. And on a first date, it’s important to do both.

So on your first date, keep the conversation as local as possible: Nobody beyond the table.

She wants to know that you’re a good dad, but she also wants to know that you’re paying attention to her instead of thinking about your kids – or your ex!

So What Details Can You Share?

A lot of what I’m telling you is about what not to do, what not to say, and how not to act. I know it sounds negative…but I can’t stress how important it is to handle the subject of your divorce with care as you jump back into the dating pool.

And that’s because divorce is an emotional topic — you may still be angry about how your wife and her lawyer treated you during the process…

Or maybe you came away with less than you thought…

Your kids spend more days with your ex than with you…

And you’re a little bitter. But if you don’t want your date to grind to an awkward halt, it’s best to leave your baggage at home (for now).

Now, some women will probe you, and they’ll want to know all the details — don’t give into her prying.

She might ask if you kept the house, or how often your kids are with you, but at the end of the day, the details of your divorce are a private matter that have no place at a first date.

Think about it:

What if she started going on and on about the dirty details of her divorce? Not super sexy, right?

You don’t want to hear more about the subject of divorce than you already have…and your date probably doesn’t, either.

Instead, focus on her — your main goal should be to figure out just how interested she is in you.

And here’s how I learned to do that:

Rule #3: How to Recognize Her 7 Signs of Sexual Attraction

Women today are so much harder to read than they used to be.

Post-divorce I’d think a woman was into me…but then I’d ask for her number and , instant rejection.

How could I get back up to speed? Can an old dog really learn new tricks?

I used my extra free time to look for an answer…

And that’s when I found this: The 7 Signs of Sexual Attraction that women give off when they’re interested in you.

They’re pretty subtle…

But they’re dead giveaways that a woman is into you — so on a first date, you’ll know with nearly 100% certainty if she secretly wants you.

World-Traveling Female: “How Foreign Guys Pick Me Up…”

Expert Melanie Curtin Reveals the Most Powerful Way to Attract a Woman…

Imagine walking into a room…

Seeing a woman you want…

And knowing you can have her — right away.  

No second-guessing yourself. No wondering, “Is she actually into me?”

You see her, and you go for it. And it pays off big time for you.

Think it’s just a far-off fantasy?

Well, thanks to one woman and her experience traveling the world, now you can make this your reality:

Meet the World Traveler Here to Reveal Her Secrets…

Melanie Curtin is so much more than a woman who travels the world: She’s also an acclaimed author and a philanthropist.

Melanie first began to understand the link between culture and sexuality when she co-founded a nonprofit to eliminate sexual abuse in New York City’s Jewish community.

This first exposure lit a fire in her to share what she had learned and continue her journey — that’s when she started her blog, Vixen On the Loose.

But being part of a successful startup and running a blog wasn’t enough for Melanie — she wanted to know more about sexuality, and specifically, what it meant for her to embrace her own sexuality.

So she set off on a trip to explore sexuality around the world — and she wrote about her experiences in her book, Around the World in 80 Lays.

Her book shows you the full scope of the nuances in sexuality over a variety of cultures, but there’s one key takeaway she shared with us:

The “Exotic Attraction Method.”

It’s a strategy foreign men use to attract women (and often make women approach them)…and it was new to Melanie, because almost no American men know about it.

And thanks to Melanie, today I’m going to share this “Exotic Attraction Method” with you. It’s an easy, 3-step process:

1) Let Go of Your Sexual Shame

As she was traveling, Melanie discovered that there’s a lot of sexual shame in western culture.

Think about it:

Most mothers flip out when they walk in on their son masturbating for the first time. They act like it’s something awful or worse, disgusting.

But here’s the thing: Every young boy does it! And when a mother scolds her son for masturbating, it’s like she’s telling him not to do what feels natural.

As a result, many boys believe that masturbation is something that should be hidden — something never to be discussed.

And as these young boys grow into men, this idea eventually turns into the belief that it’s bad to want sex. Sex becomes something associated with shame.

So what?

As it turns out, sexual shame isn’t a problem for every culture — only Westernized ones, like the United States.

So while she was traveling, Melanie discovered that foreign men are “raised with a lot less sexual shame.”

And she found that this difference in upbringing made it much easier for foreign men “to go after her.”

You see, in American culture, there’s this idea that men need to be extremely masculine…

Yet there’s also a “really big fear of being called an a–hole or a pervert or a creep.”

So how do you find a balance? What’s the solution?

According to Melanie, you simply have to let go of your sexual shame.

Simply tell yourself: “I’m OK. I want sex, and that’s good. That’s healthy.”

Because when you’re able to recognize that it’s OK to want sex, the woman you want will be able to accept her own desire to have sex with you much faster.

Which brings us to Melanie’s next step…

2) Own Your Sexuality

What this really means is “Be forward with the woman you’re interested in.”

Melanie describes exactly what this looks like through the lens of her own experience:

I went to a club, and I made eye contact with this guy…he could tell [that I was interested], and he came right over to me and started talking to me, and then later he kissed me…forward is the best way to put it.”

This flies in the face of what we, as men, are taught to believe: That you have to play “hard to get” or “pretend you don’t like” a woman in order to make her like you.

So you might think approaching a woman will make you seem too “obvious” or “aggressive”…

But the truth is that women love to feel wanted. And they want to know you want them.

For most American men, this is incredibly difficult — there’s a lot of pressure for men to respect a woman’s boundaries, so it can feel downright impossible to know when the “right” time is to make a move.

And while respecting her boundaries is very important…

If you want to be with her, you have to let her know.

Now, I won’t deny that it can feel scary…but unless she’s bold enough to approach you (and most women aren’t), it’s the only way to get anywhere with her.

In fact, as Melanie says, many women will actually approach you if you own your sexuality, because seeing a man own his sexuality is “so rare in the states.”

That brings us to the final step of Melanie’s “Exotic Attraction Method”:

3) Respond to Her Signals of Interest

This goes hand in hand with the first two steps.

One thing Melanie noticed while traveling is that foreign men are very good at “reading the signals [that a woman is interested in you], and then acting on them.”

And in her experience, a lot of men simply don’t know how to read a woman’s signals. And as a result, they second-guess themselves.

According to Melanie, this makes the act of approaching and taking home a woman “way longer” — which kills the attraction she felt in the first place.

So what the hell are a woman’s signals of interest, anyway? And how can you start to recognize them?

How to Recognize Her 7 Sensuality Signals

While Melanie was traveling, she discovered that all women — no matter what culture or nationality — share one language:

Body language.

And specifically, all women reveal their true level of interest in a man through 7 specific signals: She calls them the 7 Sensuality Signals.

So I’m at a bar one night, and this girl starts talking to me. Alright…she might be interested…but how to find out for certain?

Why not try looking for these 7 Sensuality Signs…?

I look at her eyes for the first sign…oh s—. I almost missed it, but there it is! Could be a fluke though, let’s see…

Half an hour later, I looked at her legs…signs 2 and 3 were glaring me in the face. Maybe Melanie was on to something…

But how could I check to see if she’s interested enough to go home with me? Before I even had the chance to figure it out, she goes,

“Hey, can I have your number?”

Yes! I had my answer. And the next day, I got a text: “Want to hang out Friday night? ;)”