Movies and TV Shows That Make Pool Sex Look Way Hotter Than It Actually Is

It seems like pop-culture works overtime to make us think pool sex is a great idea. TV shows and movies frequently depict characters stripping down to their swimsuits (or, in some cases, nothing) and banging underwater like it's the easiest thing in the world. No one loses their footing or gets water in their eyes—it's just smooth sailing. But anyone who's actually had sex in a pool knows that's an Olympic-size lie. The maneuvering, the oxygen flow, the chlorine—even Michael Phelps would have trouble (OK, probably not, but you get the idea). These 10 movies and TV shows particularly oversell poolside fornication. Let's dive right in (and then quickly get out because pool sex is the worst).

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  1/10

  Orgy in a Pool: Rocky Horror Picture Show (1975)

  Expectation: Your friends turn into a floating, hypersexualized mosh-pit clad in various pearls, stockings, and bustiers. Reality: No one can stand up straight for more than three seconds, so you flail around like toddlers. People keep splashing water in your face. Unsolicited peeing.

• 2/10

  Sex in the Neighbor's Pool: The Fosters

  Expectation: Your neighbors are too asleep to hear the three-hour bone-fest you're having in their pool. Reality: They're very much awake and swiftly call the cops. You're arrested for trespassing. Unsolicited peeing.

• 3/10

  Sex, Fully Clothed, in a Pool: Romeo + Juliet (1996)

  Expectation: The sex is so spontaneous and mind-blowing that you don't notice the clothes grossly sticking to your skin. Reality: You absolutely notice the clothes grossly sticking to your skin. It feels like you're in a swamp. Everything is heavier (and therefore harder). You've ruined an outfit. Unsolicited peeing.

4/10

Sex in a Pool When It's Raining: Summer Catch (2001)

• Expectation: The white-hot flame between you and your partner evaporates the rain, and you make love on a chlorine cloud. It's like The Notebook! But in a pool! Reality: Pellets of rain routinely stab you in the eye. Lightning puts your life in danger. You catch a cold. Unsolicited peeing.

• 5/10

  Smoking Weed While Having Sex in a Pool: Spring Breakers (2013)

  Expectation: We're not condoning drug use, buuuut you're probably anticipating some kind of euphoric, mermaid orgasm. Reality: You drop your joint in the water, which ruins any kind of buzz you have. The munchies kick in, but you're in a pool and unable to easily access food. Unsolicited peeing.

• 6/10

  Sex in a Public Pool: Swimfan (2002)

  Expectation: No one shows up for the exact 15 minutes you and your partner bang—but it's certainly hot thinking somebody will. Reality: The mood dies (and your blood pressure spikes) every time you hear something rustling in the distance. (It's the F.B.I., obviously.) Unsolicited peeing.

• 7/10

  Sex on the Ground Near a Pool: The L Word

  Expectation: A sexual experience so carnal and hot that you don't feel the cement scratching your bare butt. Reality: You feel the cement. It hurts. The lack of head support puts you in a neck brace. Mosquitoes and ants wage a war against your body. But good news: No unsolicited peeing (probably).

8/10

Threesome in a Pool: Laurel Canyon (2003)

• Expectation: Underwater sexy-time divided equally among three consenting adults. Reality: The reality of all threesomes: The other two people have sex while you sulk in the corner—except this time you're naked, outside, and pruning excessively. Unsolicited peeing.

• 9/10

  Oral Sex in a Pool: Showgirls (1995)

  Expectation: You will have no problems breathing, and your partner will orgasm in five minutes because Water. Is. Exciting. Reality: Suffocation within the first 30 seconds. Imminent death. Swallowing so much chlorine water that you consider a trip to the E.R. A full-on fight with your partner for suggesting this asinine idea. Water up your nose. Unsolicited peeing.

• 10/10

  Sex in a Jacuzzi, Which Is Basically a Very Hot Pool: Empire

  Expectation: The hot temperature raises your libido, and all the perspiration actually makes things sexier. Reality: Sweat gets into your eye. It burns. You overheat and almost die. And unsolicited peeing (which you won't feel because the water is hot).