Pretty Convincing Arguments For Never Giving A Man Oral Sex Again

Oral sex is amazing.  When you’re receiving it, that is.  Yes, that’s right:  Unless you’re, like, Samantha Jones or something, giving head isn’t really a fun time. Just think:  When’s the last time you woke up and thought:  Exactly.  Beyond the fact that its’ just not enjoyable, however, here are 12 valid reasons to never give offer your oral services ever again.

Argument #1. First reason to never go down on a man ever again? You know you can get oral without doing it. Yes, seriously. The idea that oral sex is an act of reciprocity is simply not true. In fact, we’d put money that it was probably a guy who started the whole you scratch my back, I scratch yours BS.

Argument #1. The reality of the matter is, if a guy won’t head south on you unless you return the favor, you should probably dump. No, scratch that: You should definitely dump him. Your Prince Charming is out there… And he’s someone who will provide you with oral services without expecting a damn thing in return.

Argument #2. You’re tired. No, really. That’s it. A perfectly valid reason to never give another BJ is because you’re just oh-so sleepy. Pro tip: Yawn in front of them. A lot. That’ll let ‘em know you’re too tired to go down on him today, tomorrow, and for all eternity. Sounds nice, don’t it?

Argument #3. Feminism, duh. Why should you — a woman — have to do anything that you don’t want to for a man? From reproductive rights to the wage gap, ladies in this day and age have it hard enough as it is. Refusing to go down on your man is basically saying you’re woke AF and part of the #resistance. Holla.

Argument #4. Unless you’re, like, Kylie Jenner, you’re a grown a** women that (probably) works all day long. Why, in the name of all that is holy, would you want to come back home to be greeted by a man’s d*ck waiting to be sucked? Nah, girl. That’s just a side hustle you weren’t even asking for. Next.

Argument #5. Let’s get a little science-y up in b*tch. Recently, a study found that men have way, way more orgasms than women. In other words, the orgasm gap is totally a thing — as if women didn’t have it hard enough. What’s more, straight single women have the fewest orgasms of all. Sigh.

Argument #5. Knowing all of that, we reckon a good way to start closing the orgasm gap is for women to stop going down on their partners. Easy enough, right? Lack of head means lack of orgasm — and lack of orgasm means the beginning of the end of for the disparity between genders in the bedroom. Genius!

Argument #6. Sixth reason to stop going down on your partner(s)? You’re missing out on all the conversations you could be having! While sexual intimacy is definitely crucial in a happy, healthy relationship, so is the emotional variety. In other words, keep that penis out of your mouth and start having meaningful convos instead!

Argument #7. Ever hoped out of the shower only to realize you gotta poop? It sucks, right? Let’s put that logic to the BJ game: If you’ve just brushed your teeth, why oh why would you want to put something — let alone, a penis — in your mouth? Noooo, thank you.

Argument #8. Another valid reason to not give your guy a BJ? It can open up the way for kinky exploration! Just think: No oral sex means you can explore all the other racy sex acts you’ve been wanting to try, whether it’s butt play or sex toy related. Not to mention, you can also do it the ol’ school way and just go at it via penetration. Classic.

Argument #9. Think of your partner’s behavior the past several weeks. Have they actually done anything to earn head? If they had a chore chart, how many stars would be on it? One? Three? Clearly not enough for some oral sex. To the left, to the left.

Argument #11. Next compelling argument to never suck a d*ck again: Semen is bad for you… OK, so that’s not entirely true. But, who’s to say that it’s not? Science hasn’t really looked into the long-term effects of BJs, so…. Just sayin'!

Argument #10. You know that fancy shmancy bottle of vino you’re saving for a special occasion? Think of BJs the same way. In other words, save ‘em for extra special occasions, or that *perfect* moment that will probably happen sometime in the near future. Keyword: probably.

Argument #12. Last, but certainly, not least: Penises can be gross. Like, have you ever heard of smegma?! No?! Well, it’s a gross AF secretion that can be count in the folds of a guy’s d*ck if he’s not cleaning himself properly. Yeah, just think of that next time you’re thinking of heading down south on a dude.

Bottom line. The takeaway? If you don’t want to give someone oral sex, then don’t. Yes, it’s THAT simple. You don’t really need an argument to do what you want, especially when it comes to sex acts. It’s all about consent, breh. Toodles!