Women Open Up About How Becoming A Mom Changed Their Sex Lives

Starting a family is a huge decision that will forever change your life. That's why you want to make sure you do it with someone you know is going to be there for you through thick and thin. Even after you've given birth, and your sex drive disappears entirely. Having kids also means accepting that your sex lives might change forever-- or at least until all your kids are 18. On the other hand, some find that their sex lives get better after becoming a mom. Everyone's experiences are different, and here, 15 moms on Reddit share how their own sex lives changed after becoming a mom.

User lordperiwinkle. "Pregnancy sex was fantastic. Afterwards things went back to pretty much normal. Installing a latch on the door was vital. My husband and I have an art business, and we keep our stock in a shed. After the kids were old enough to not need continual supervision (yay) we made a place for ourselves in the shed for afternoon delight. His asking me if I wanted to do inventory with him makes me swoon."

User ItAintSoSweet. "Biggest thing is that we can't have sex wherever we want anymore. We have to shut and lock our bedroom door every time. Unless the kids are with their grandparents then we can do it right in the middle of the living room."

User CertifiedUnicorn007. "It slowed down at first but we both really wanted kids, and as cheesy as it sounds when your happiness is magnified you're getting laid. Remaining somewhat perverse with kids around is a fun challenge, you become a master of double entendre. You also have to hide each other sometimes or kids go bananas. When our kids were little I'd take them to somewhere like Great Wolf Lodge and they'd think it was just us going, but we'd also get the adjoining room and my husband would show up when they were asleep. Seeing their dad in the morning was like "Whoaaaaaaa magic where did you come from??" and of course the answer to that was "Ask your mom, she knows where I come from!" Things you can say when your kids are 8 and 3. Now that they're older it requires more creativity."

User whats_a_bylaw. "It's as nonexistent as it can get without being sexless. We count it in times per year. It didn't used to be. We used to be normal. But neither of us want it, but want to want it. It isn't great when it happens, either. Kid's almost 4. I was treated for PPD until he was 2 1/2, and I wonder if the depression and SSRI had something to do with it."

User onedirtymother . "There was no drop in my sex drive at all. But we did have less sex because we were both so busy and exhausted. Sometimes just getting a backrub or getting to lie down for a few minutes was more important than having sex. Sex has become more frequent now that our kids are old enough to look after themselves more.”

User Ginya. "Well we're only 9 months out but my sex drive has completely disappeared. Before pregnancy I was high libido and even during pregnancy it was still pretty high. Breastfeeding (or at least that's my working theory) has effectively destroyed all and any sex drive I had. I'm struggling to place value on it and engage with my husband because it's frustrating to him but honestly I kind of dread it. It's physically uncomfortable even with lots of foreplay and lube so I'm mostly trying to fake it so he finishes. Then I just want to shower and do something else. I'm really hoping that after the baby weans things will go back to normal."

User MusicalTourettes. "We were together 4 years before I got pregnant. We went from enjoying sex 2-4x/week to me having 0 sex drive. None. Even getting aroused is frustrating and sometimes painful. Our son is 2 and we've worked together so things are better, but I miss my old sex drive. I have no idea how to fix this. My doctors and therapist have been pretty useless but we're not giving up."

User MiriKap. "It slowed down a lot when my son was born, he was a very fussy baby. It got back to normal when he turned 6 months or so and I got into the flow of having two kids."

User theguerrilla_gorilla . "With my first pregnancy, our sex life was normal until later on. Sex became extremely uncomfortable and we hardly did anything the last 2 months. Also my vagina just stank like pee because I couldn't stop peeing myself. I'm 9 weeks along with twins this time around and I have zero drive. I can't even sleep with my husband because I'm constantly on edge and wake 3-4 times a night to pee. We have sex once a week if even and that's if I force myself too. It's a real struggle and I'm really hoping our sex life returns to its vivacious self post birth."

User LampGrass. "It was good throughout pregnancy, then slowed down significantly after birth. Things were painful for a while, but we just kept at it, went slowly, etc. During the baby's first 6 months, we were exhausted and our schedules were thrown out the window, but once we sleep trained him and started getting a rhythm, things went back to normal. Now he's almost 1 and a half, and everything's just as good as it was before. We're trying to conceive right now so we're doing it every day, but our normal is 3-7 times a week."

User FrozenFractalsofIce . "When your child is very young your sex drive is pretty low and you're too exhausted to really care. Once you adjust to it and your kids get older and more independent it's much easier to find time for sex. If our daughter is around we go to our room and "talk" but we usually do it when she's not around. Now our sex life is even better, we just can't have sex anywhere except our room."

User hampatnat. "Surprisingly (to me), our sex life got so much better. Things were not great for a while after each baby was born, and I had PND each time, but once we got through that, wow. Now in our thirties and with three kids we're having more sex than we've ever had and trying out lots of different things."

User ZizzerZazzer. "My sex drive was a fair bit lower while nursing but once he weaned, it's been mostly the same. Obviously, my toddler takes up a lot of the daytime hours but after he goes to sleep? Early mornings? It's about the same."

User Latelygoing. "My husband had a really hard time seeing me as a woman after I had kids. He was resentful of me for having kids and giving them attention, and yet when my libido returned, he thought it was weird that a "Mother" would want sex. And then he went on antidepressants with a lot of sexual side effects (difficulty with erections, difficulty with orgasms), it made him hypersensitive. The stresses of babyhood drove us apart rather than together. Our marriage has healed a lot but he has a low libido and is on the same antidepressant. The sex is almost non-existent, but I don't blame the kids."

User FitGirl63139. "It didn't change much until I got divorced and now its great! I bang whoever I want when I get those blissful kid free nights. I'm really happy."