I Had Casual Sex For A Year And Here Is What I Learned

Being single has its perks, like not having to share the bed, your food, and basically anything else. You get to be as selfish as you want without having to answer to anyone. The only thing about not being in a relationship however, is that you’re not having constant sex. The good news is, there’s a solution to that— have casual sex. Who knows? You might just learn something from it like this woman here, who writers about her experience having casual sex for a year.

Casual sex. Arie Fontina writes via Your Tango about the year she spent having casual sex. She decided to do this after having been in a relationship for four years. Her piece for the website reveals everything she learned throughout that entire year.

Relationship. Being in a relationship is exhausting, and Fontina and her partner had been together for over four years. The back and forth between the two caused her so much emotional turmoil that at the end of the day, she was sick of being in a relationship.

Physical. "Towards the end, I told him I wanted to just be f*ck buddies, but he wanted all of me. I should have been happy he didn't just want my body, but being with him had taken such a toll on me that I really just needed someone to pleasure my physical side while I focused on fixing the mental side,” writes Fontina, via Your Tango.

Decision. So she made the decision to have only casual sex for the next year, learning many valuable lessons along the way. But more importantly, she learned how to date using the mindset of a man— without any emotions.

Body positive. One of the first things Fontina learned, was to accept her body the way it is. A lot of women, Fontina included, have this perception that their bodies aren’t desirable because they don’t look like those of the women they see on runways and magazines.

Advantage. But what Fontina learned was that half the time, men aren’t actually paying attention to your body. “In my year of casual sex, I learned how to love myself in my own skin and stop caring what men thought. After all, the only thing they really cared about was how I used my body to their advantage,” writes Fontina.

Spontaneous. Another lesson Fontina took away, was that spontaneous sex is much more fun and exciting that relationship sex. When you’re in a relationship, sex can get to the point where it almost seems like a chore. But when you’re least expecting it, things get significantly more interesting.

Experiment. If you’ve ever wanted to experiment with your partner but were too ashamed of afraid they might judge you, a casual one night stand is the perfect place to try out some of your kinkiest fantasies.

Opportunity. "Knowing I’d probably never see that one-night stand ever again was strangely liberating. Men on the search for casual sex are pretty much up for anything, so it presented the perfect opportunity to try some kinky stuff, and I allowed guys the same courtesy,” writes Fontina.

Dry spells. In a relationship, sex is pretty much guaranteed. But when you’re single and just looking for casual sex, you’re bound to go through a dry spell, as Fontina would learn. Dry spells aren't anything to be worried about though. They happen, and then they stop.

Negatives. While most of the lessons she took away were good ones, she also learned that casual sex does have some negatives, like the fact that a lot of men usually never want to or have the patience to let you climax even if they’ve already finished.

Sexual encounters. "I'm lucky enough to never have gone more than three months without a sexual encounter, but some of my less-fortunate friends have gone longer than three years,” writes Fontina. Because of this, she definitely learned to appreciate being in a relationship a little bit more.

Final lesson. "There isn't as much patience in casual sex encounters, which brings me to my final and most important lesson: the only person you can rely on in life, and in sex, is yourself,” writes Fontina, via Your Tango.

Empowering. Having casual sex can be empowering and can make you in control of your own sex life, which can feel great. It can also make you a better lover, which your next partner will definitely appreciate you for!

Your experiences. Have you ever gone through a phase in your life when you’ve only had casual sex? Do you think that, if you haven't already, you'd be into this experiment? Tell us your stories and let us know what you think of this in the comments section below!